


We can talk or we can sit here together and enjoy that cold evening in silence

by Zabn



Category: SKAM (TV), Skam - Fandom
Genre: December 3/2016 between 5:01 and 7:25, Isak is confused about Even's feelings for him, Isak opens up to a total stranger, M/M, Season 3, little bit angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-09 08:29:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11665401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zabn/pseuds/Zabn
Summary: Isak is more than confused about Even's feeelings for him. What if Sonja's harsh words were right?He needs to get out of his room, where he spent so many beautiful minutes with Even, so he decides to go on a walk. On his walk he meets a girl and they start to talk about love and Even...





	We can talk or we can sit here together and enjoy that cold evening in silence

**Author's Note:**

> This story happens between Isak's conversation with his father on the phone at 5:01 and the text Isak sends to Even at 7:25.

**december 3, between 5:06 and 7:25**  
  
For one second he thought it was Even who was calling him back, but it was his dad, asking about the concert at the church, Isak couldn't care less about that fucking concert at that moment.

That had been the most awkward and painful conversation between Isak and his father since he left his mother. It was hard to say that he wasn’t upset about the fact that things with Even seemed to be over, when in fact it felt like the end of the fucking earth.

Isak laid down on his bed, his eyes were staring at the ceiling, his mind wandered to the days when he laid there with Even, smoking some weed, talking about whatever came to their minds, cuddling and kissing. Those were good days, Isak loved every single second of them.

Isak closed his eyes, there was a new flood of tears that wanted to escape the boy’s eyes, he let them fall down his cheeks, there was no need to hold them back, ‘cause they would fall anyways no matter how hard he tried to fight them back.

‘5 minutes, Isak, you got 5 minutes in which you can let it out and cry like a little bitch and then you pull yourself together again.’ he thought to himself.

He burried his face into his pillow and if his heart wasn't already aching enough, the pillow smelled like Even. Isak took a deep breath, inhaling Even's scent and he felt another sting in his chest. He wrapped his arms around the pillow and pressed it as close as possible against his body, to somehow get the illusion that he was hugging Even.

Isak let it all out, tears were running down his face, slowly sinking in the fabric of his pillow. His whole body was shaking while he was crying. He tried to tune down his sobbing ‘cause Eskild, Noora and Linn were watching a movie in the living room and he didn’t want them to come and look after him.

Even if he hated to admit it, he knew as soon as Eskild would come through that door, he would break down in his arms and he would probably never be able to stop crying again.

The 5 minutes he gave himself were over, his eyes were burning and his throat felt sore. Isak felt like there was not a single tear left in him, he expected to feel at least a tiny bit better but instead he felt numb and exhausted.

Isak turned his face back towards the ceiling, there was a tiny crack in it, it looked like a wrinkle in the corner of Even's eye when he was smiling that precious smile. Isak closed his eyes, took a deep breathe, he needed to get the hell out of his room or else he would probably loose his fucking mind.

He didn’t want to go out in the living room to the others, he could already feel their hiden worried glances on him. He wanted, no he needed to be alone for a little while. He needed to think about what he would do next, if he should reach out for Even again or if he really wanted to let that whole thing go before his heart would be even more broken.

He stood up from his bed and headed quietly outside his room, he quickly put on his shoes and a jacket and wrapped a scarf around his neck. He went outside the apartment, closed the door as silent as possible and took a deep breath. Fresh air would help to clear the mess in his mind, he was still confused about the words Sonja spit in his face.

   _"He's manic. He's not well._  
   _Do you think he's in love with you? He's not."_

Magnus tried to convince him otherwise, he said Sonja was just jealous and he should ask Even about his feelings, but Even wasn't picking up his phone, so what if Sonja was right? What if Even just imagined to be in love with Isak?

He tried to get rid of that thoughts, he just wanted a single minute without thinking about Even. But how could he, when he was so deeply in love with the other boy.

Isak wandered around, aimlessly, he didn’t know where he should go, his feet carried him to the bench on that hill. That bench was the perfect place to think, to sort the mess in his brain and to decide what he was going to do next. He went up the hill and sighed when he saw that there was already someone sitting on that bench, a young women with long blond hair. Her face was illuminated by the light of her notebook, balanced on her lap. Her eyes were focused at the screen but she also looked a little lost out there in the dark and Isak asked himself what the hell she was doing there, it was quite cold that evening.

The young woman sat at the left end of the bench, there was plenty space left for Isak to sit down, so he let his body fall on the other end of it.

She startled a little, but her eyes stayed pinned to the screen. Isak pulled his phone out of his pocket and he texted Magnus.

   
\--  
Isak:He hung up on me when I called  
Magnus: down then. Maybe.  
              Send him a text.  
              It’s awesome to get texts.  
              Quote by BjØrnstjerne BjØmson.  
Isak: OK  
\--

Though Isak was annoyed by the words coming out from Magnus mouth most of the time, he really appreciated his words in that moment. When Magnus said, that his mum was bipolar too and that she was awesome anyways, Isak thought the same about Even, Even was great. But Sonja’s words kept hunting his thoughts.

_"It's just a sick idea he's got right now...  
   So can you please just stay away?"_

He put his phone back in his pocket, leaned his head back in his neck, buried his hands in his pockets and let his eyes wander over the illuminated city.

The girl knitted her eyebrows and looked at Isak in the corner of her eyes, though it was dark outside and there was only the light of a lamppost, she could see that the boy had cried and he looked pretty lost.

She focused her eyes back on the screen again, but she couldn’t concentrate on her writing, that boy beside her had something on him that distracted her thoughts.

As the boy sighed loudly, she couldn’t hold back and asked ”Hey, is everything fine? You look kinda upset."

The girl immediately regretted that she opened her mouth, when she saw the expression on his face, he looked confused at her with knitted eyebrows. The girl swallowed hard and wanted to open her mouth again to say sorry, but the boy took a deep breath and answered ”Love, you know?”

The girl almost barked out a laugh, she was sitting there in Oslo on her vacation on a bench and was about to start a conversation with a stranger about love. 

Goddamit, probably I should run the hell away before I tell that poor boy some shit and his love life goes to hell, she thought to herself.

She snorted and smiled at the boy “Love’s a bitch, there is nothing out there that can you hurt that much. Love can literally destroy you. When you think about it love is fucking terrifying, because the person you love the most could be the person who will hurt you the most... Love's a fucking tragedy.” 

Isak’s eyes widened, probably he awaited something else, something more positive, he bit down his bottom lip before he said "That's pretty dark, tho."

The girl looked at the city, she turned her head towards Isak, took another breath before she went on “Yeah, it is. But you know what? Love is also fucking beautiful, there's no better feeling than loving someone and being loved. It's fucking awesome when you find someone, who shows you how beautiful the world can be. Love is the best and the worst out there...yeah, love is everything.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Isak nodded, he had to let her words sink in for a few seconds, his eyes were pinned on his hands.

She looked at Isak, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how, so he stayed silent.

She felt that this boy needed to talk to someone, he needed to spill his guts on someone. Normally she wasn’t that type of girl who liked to have meaningfull conversations with random strangers, she was more the small talk type, but she was sure that this boy wanted to say something more than how frigging cold it was that day, he just didn't know how and where to begin.

Actually she was out there to overcome her massive writer’s blockade, but the document on the screen in front of her was still empty though she already sat there for about 20 minutes. But she felt like there was something more important to do at that moment. She took a deep breathe, closed her notebook, put it in her bag and stood up from the bench. She placed the bag beside Isak and smiled at him, she was standing right in front of him.

Isak looked at her with one eyebrow raised, when she asked “How old are you?”

Isak looked around a little nervously.

Why did she ask about his age?

What did she want from him?

He was getting a little uncomfortable but he was also curious about her intentions so he decided to answer her.

He answered slowly and still a little confused “Uhm.. I’m seventeen.”

She knitted her eyebrows, then there played a smirk on her lips “Fuck it, that’s close enough to eighteen.”

She leaned forward and Isak was afraid what would happen next.

No, no was she about to fucking kiss him? Oh god, no, no, this must be a fucking joke.

But she only leaned forward to get her purse out of her bag beside Isak.

When she noticed the look on his face, she started to laugh “Oh my gosh, you thought I was going to kiss you, didn’t you? Jesus, you’re a pretty cute boy, but not that cute.”

Isak blushed, his face went a few shades pinker and he stuttered “No, no… I didn’t…”

The girl laughed and said “Chill, pretty boy. I just wanted to go down to that supermarket and get us some beer. When I’m back maybe you wanna tell me why you look like the world is about to end. Sometimes it's easier to talk about stuff with a stranger - in the dark with just the light of lamppost on a bench on a hill. Or we don’t talk at all, we can also sit here together and enjoy that cold evening in silence. But I think we both can use a beer.”

Okay that was definitely not what Isak expected, he could say that he needed to go home or that he already had other plans, but he nodded and smiled at her “Okay.”

He didn't know why but he felt like it was the right thing to do, maybe she was right and talking to a complete stranger would help him to find out what he should do about the mess with Even.

Isak watched her walking down the path, she was wrapped in a thick black winter coat, her long blond hair was covered with a dark red beanie and around her neck was a big dark red scarf. She looked beautiful and carefree. He took his eyes off of her and pulled out his phone. Still nothing from Even.

A few minutes later the girl came back with a six-pack of beer, she pushed her bag aside and sat down right beside Isak.

She handed him a beer and said: “By the way, I’m Sabrina.”

“Isak.” Isak answered, took the beer and opened it.

They clinked their cans und both took a gulp of their beer.

Isak looked at the girl, smiled a shy smile and he heard himself asking: “You’re not going to Nissen, right? Never seen you there.”

The girl smiled at him: “Well no, actually I’m from Austria, I’m only here to visit my grandparents.”

Isak took another sip of his beer before he asked: “How comes that you’re alone out here in the dark?”

“My too worried and too nosey grandma. She kept asking about my fiancé, why he isn’t with me, if everything's fine between us and shit like that. She didn't believe me that he couldn't come cause he has a shit load of work at home. I just needed to get out of their house for a little while, you know. Escaping the questions and I needed some fresh air anyways, so I was wandering around trying to find some inspiration for my next story, than I found this bench and thought it would be the perfect place to overcome my goddamn writer’s blockade.” Sabrina explained with a little smile on her face.

“Fiancé?” Isak raised his eyebrows, wasn’t that girl too young to be engaged with someone.

“Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. You think that I’m too young to be engaged. Every fucking one thinks that.” Sabrina smirked at him.

Isak shrugged and nodded a little “Pardon me, but I mean, you look pretty young, tho.”

“You're sweet, pretty boy, but I’m not that young, I'm 21.” Sabrina smiled at him, and Isak just nodded.

Sabrina could see that he was still thinking that she was too young so she asked "What if he’s the right one? What if he’s the love of my life? The man of my dreams?"

Her expression was soft and loving, Isak could tell that she truly loved that guy and that she was fucking sure about those three things.

“How … how do you know he’s the right one? If he's the man of your dreams?” Isak asked her back, he wanted to know, he wanted to know what it felt like to find the right one, was it that feeling he felt when he saw Even for the first time, when he first spoke to him, when he first kissed him, when they had sex for the first time?

“How do I know if he’s the right one?” Sabrina repeated Isak’s question, she knitted her eyebrows, it seemed like she was thinking thoughtfully about what she was going to say, she was searching for the right words.

“Isak, you don’t know if someone’s the right one, you just feel it. I guess it’s simple as that.”

Isak slightly shook his head “Unfortunately it isn’t always as simple as that. What if the person you’re in love with is crazy? If that person’s fucking bipolar?”

“Someone’s not crazy if he’s bipolar.” Sabrina said quietly, Isak rolled his eyes that was the second time he heard that sentence “They are still able to love, you know, they’re not brain damaged.”

“But what if another person told you that he doesn’t really love you, that he was just with you because of a manic episode and that you’re just another sick idea of his brain?” Isak blurt out, that words came so quick out of his mouth he couldn't even say the person instead of he, but he didn't care. He didn't care that Sabrina knew that he was in love with a guy, that he was fucking gay.

“Wow, that’s a pretty fucked up thing to say to someone. But what did he say? How does he feel? Did you talk to him?” Sabrina asked, he looked warmly at Isak.

Isak was surprised that Sabrina didn't comment that Isak was talking about a boy - that he was in love with a boy. It seemed like it was totally normal for her and he was really thankful that he met someone like her, there would have been nothing more horrible when he had to explain why he was in love with a guy - why he was gay.

“We spent a night at a Hotel, then he lost it and went out all naked... I didn't find him, so I called his ex-girlfriend, Sonja. She told me about his illness and that he isn't really in love with me, that his brain just made this up. He was sending me texts with song lyrics, I told him to stop cause I was so confused about his feelings for me. Since then we haven’t talked. I tried calling him before I came here, but he didn’t take the call… a friend said he might be down - depressed - but I guess Sonja was right with what she said.” Sabrina could hear that Isak was fighting back his tears, she laid his hand on his back and stroke gently up and down.

“Oh ex-girlfriend...not surprising that she said some shit like that. Probably she said those stuff cause she knows very well that he’s in love with you. But that's just what I think.”

“You really think that?” Isak asked and ran his hand over his eyes.

“Yeah.” Sabrina nodded, they were silent for a few moments, Sabrina took the last sip of her beer, looked at Isak and said “What’s his name? Tell me about him.”

“Even.” Isak had a tender smile on his face when he spoke out the other boy’s name, his eyes were shining, Sabrina could see how deeply in love Isak was.  
“He’s awesome, he has a great personality, he has the most beautiful eyes, when he smiles his eyes crinkle… I just love everything about him, he made me happy. I’ve never felt something like this before, it feels like… I don’t know…it's...”

“Like finally coming home after a long exhausting journey?” Sabrina continued Isak’s sentence.

“Yeah.” Isak nodded, that’s exactly what it felt like, Even felt like home.

Sabrina smiled knowingly at him, is that the feeling she spoke of? Isak was sure that must be the feeling you have when you find the right one.

They both startled when Sabrina’s phone went off, she smiled apologetically at Isak and said “Sorry, I need to take this.”

Isak just nodded and signalized with his hand that she shouldn’t worry and take the call.

Sabrina stood up from beside Ian, took the call and she was talking in an other language, Isak was sure that it was her mother tongue. She wandered around and played with her hair, her voice was soft and loving, she had a smile on her face, her cheeks became a little more rosy.

Isak smiled at that view, she must be talking to her fiancé, Sabrina turned around and was facing Isak again, she rolled her eyes and grinned at him. A few minutes past before she hung up and sat down beside Isak again.

“I bet that was the man of your dreams, huh?” Isak smiled at her, she pushed slightly his shoulder and smiled “Shut up, pretty boy.”

“Do you think Even could be the man of your dreams?” Sabrina suddenly asked, sometimes she could beat her own ass for not thinking twice before blurting things like that out.

“I don’t think Even wants to be anything for me anymore.” Isak answered, he looked down on his hands.

“That’s bullshit, Isak.” Sabrina pushed Isak’s shoulder again but this time a little rougher, like she was trying to finally wake him up “You haven’t even spoken to him so you don’t know that. Maybe he didn’t pick up the phone because he’s sleeping.”

Isak just nodded slowly, Sabrina laid an arm around the boy and leaned her head against his shoulder. Usually Isak wasn’t that type who was all cuddly with people he didn’t even know, not even with people he knew, but somehow that half hug from Sabrina was the right thing at that moment.

They sat there silent for a few minutes, Isak drank the last bit of his beer, Sabrina’s head was still on his shoulder, he smiled down at her and said “Thanks.”

Sabrina looked up in his eyes, smiled and nodded slightly.

There was the sound of a notification, Isak startled, was it his phone, please let it be a text from Even.

But it was Sabrina’s phone, she looked apologetically at him, Isak just shrugged, it wasn’t her fault.

Sabrina stared down on her phone, read the message and quickly replied, she put her phone back in her jacket.

Isak looked at her and she smiled at him “That was my grandma, pretty boy, she was asking where I am. I think I gotta go, before she gets even more worried.”

“Okay.” Isak nodded, Sabrina could see a glimpse of disappointment in his eyes “Should I walk you home? I mean streets are pretty dangerous at night in Oslo.” He smiled at her.

“Sure.” she shrugged, she grabbed her bag, she linked arms with Isak and they started their walk home.

The first few steps the walked in silence, it was a comfortable silence. Then they talked about Isak's life at the kollektivet, living with someone like Eskild, school and stuff like that. Isak asked Sabrina about her everyday life in Austria and she told how she met her fiancé, they had a really nice conversation.

When they arrived at her grandparents house, Sabrina pulled Isak in a tight hug “I bet my grandma has cooked way too much again, you wanna join us for dinner?”

“That's really nice of you, but no thank you.” Isak slightly shook his head, he wasn’t hungry, he couldn’t eat when all those thoughts were circling his mind.

“Sure?” Sabrina asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah.” Isak answered “I gotta go home anyways, I bet Eskild's already worried as fuck about me.”

“Okay…” Sabrina laughed and added “Isak, it was really nice to meet you…”

“You too, Sabrina.” Isak smiled at her and he really meant it, he slowly turned around and started to walk away.

Sabrina was still standing at the door, watching Isak walking away when she yelled “Hey, pretty boy...”

Isak stopped and turned around, looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“Give it a try! Call Even again or at least send him a text. In the name of love, Isak.” Sabrina shouted with a grin on her face “Or else you’ll never find out if he’s the man of your dreams.”

Isak slightly shook his head and laughed “Fine..okay, I’ll do that.” He waved her goodbye and continued his walk home.

Sabrina waved back, with a smile on her face, she turned around and unlocked the door. Hopefully these two guys can work this out, she thought before she entered the house.

Isak walked down the street, pulled his phone out of his jacket, still nothing from Even. He took a deep breath and typed a few words for Even, when he hit the send button he had a smile on his face and his heart felt a little lighter.  
  
\--  
_I tried to call you. I hope you’re well. Give me a call when you feel like it ♥_  
\--

**december 23,  15:03**

Isak and Even were lying beside each other on Isak's bed watching a movie on Isak's laptop when Isak's phone beeped. He checked it, he got a message on Facebook.

\--  
Hey Pretty boy.  
First of all I wish you a Merry Christmas :)  
I really hope you and Even worked things out and you can find out if he's the man of your dreams.  
Isak, I wish you all the best.  
Kiss (haha), Sabrina <3  
\--

Isak silghtly shook his head and smiled at his phone, Even looked at him with one of his eyebrows raised and asked “Got a funny text from the guys?”

“Huh?” Isak looked at Even with raised eyebrows “No…just...”

Even knitted his eyebrows “Why are you smiling than?” Isak could hear a jealous undertone in Even's voice.

Isak rolled his eyes, there was no reason for Even to be jealous, but he wanted to tease him a little. Isak darted his tongue out to wet his lips, shrugged and said “Nothing.”

Isak noticed that Even was getting impatient, he tried to focus on the movie again, but Isak could see that he really wanted to know why Isak was smiling at his phone, but before he would tell him, he leaned his head on Even's shoulder, opened the front camera of his phone said “Smile.”

Isak looked at the pic of them; Isak smiled bright at the camera, Even's eyes were tenderly looking at Isak, God he fucking loved this man. He quickly typed a reply to Sabrina.

\--  
Hi stranger girl,  
we wish you a Merry Christmas.  
*pic of Isak and Even*  
Thanks a lot for listening and talking the other day.  
Hugs, Isak <3  
\--

\--  
OMG such pretty boys, damn, you two look hot ;)  
I’m so so so happy for you, Isak.  
Next time I’m in Oslo I want to meet the man of your dreams.  
\--

\--  
Deal :)  
But you have to bring yours too.  
\--

\--  
Deal.  
And always remember: Love is everything.  
\--

Isak felt that Even was staring at him, Isak looked in his eyes, smiled and asked "What? You jealous?"

"Huh? What? No. I'm just curious who made my man smile so pretty." Even shrugged, and caressed Isak's cheek.

Isak rolled his eyes, placed a kiss on Even's lips and handed him his phone to let him read the messages.

Even knitted his eyebrows and asked “Who’s Sabrina?”

“A really cool and nice girl, I met her 3 weeks ago. We were both sitting on a bench and apparently I looked so lost that she asked me what was wrog and than we started to talk and stuff...”

"And stuff?" Even raised his eyebrows.

"Jesus Even, you remember that I'm gay, yeah? We just had a nice conversation, we talked about life and finding the right one and shit like that..."

"About finding the man of your dreams, huh?” Even mocked, there was a little smile on his face.

“Yeah…” Isak rolled his eyes but mirrored his smile “...and she told me not give up on you.”

“Best advice ever... I already like her.” Even smiled and Isak nodded before he pressed another kiss on Even's lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading <3  
> I hope you liked the story :)


End file.
